What is a Kundalini awakening about?
Now that we have touched upon what Kundalini is, you may be asking: “why is she so demanding and what does she actually want with me?” These are valid questions and will help you better your understanding of this process; It’s easier to allow something to happen to us when we feel an understanding of it and trust in its intentions.
If Kundalini has awoken, it means that your soul has in a sense reached it’s “expiration date”, it’s limit of living a life of separation. You may not know it yet, but your soul, the eternal part of you, is in deep pain, longing to be set free. This part of you is through with the survival chapter of your life time(s); It is done with your well-honed survival skills and the programing that has kept you safe, yet in the dark about who you are and how beautiful you truly shine. Your heart is unhappy veiled. It is not a mistake or an accident even if your Kundalini had woken up out of the blue, a deep part of you is ready and in time you will recognize that. You are, as we all are nowadays, love-starved. Not the cheap love substitute that comes with a list of requirements of who you should be to earn it (the one society has to offer), but the precious love that costs nothing and gives everything freely. It’s impossible to experience this type of love if you do not know the whole of you; if you are internally fragmented, as we all are in order to survive in society, and if your soul resides in exile, disconnected from you. Kundalini is merely a manifestation of you soul’s desire, and of its true quest or life purpose. Up to now you were in charge and did the absolute best you could within the constraints of your programing. All this has changed, your soul or higher Self is pulling the strings now and as frightening as not having control may feel, there is no one else you can trust more.
Kundalini will work diligently to help you release anything that is standing in the way of wholeness and the experience of unconditional love. This is a journey of healing and letting go, over and over again and can feel dire for a while. It is a tough path to be on, as no coping mechanism you have in place can help with it, yet it is by far the most rewarding one. You will get to know your soul and your heart in the deepest way possible, and knowing is loving. There is no love greater than that to embody.
Kundalini brings to the surface the conditioning and programing you have been absorbing since infancy, which include family roles and expectations of whom you should be in order to “fit in” and be loved. She will bring up all of your buried wounding and childhood traumas for you to heal. Kundalini doesn’t usually take breaks, she is the hardest worker you will encounter. This can make the process feel relentless and demanding, until you commit to turning every stone in your subconscious or shadow self. Understanding that committing to this is ultimately for your highest good, you can’t heal without it.
What Kundalini asks you to examine, let go of or heal:
- Programing: Unconscious social, familiar and religious conditioning or programing. What runs in the background on autopilot and comprises the majority of your repetitive thought pattern.
- Core beliefs: Unconscious core beliefs, such as believing you are not good enough or unlovable.
- Wounds and trauma: Infancy, childhood or young adult trauma and old wounding stored in the body and the subconscious mind.
- Unhealthy or toxic relationships: with friends, a partner, family, yourself such as addictions. An unhealthy relationship could be with life, thinking you are a victim of life and not a co-creator of your own reality.
- Attachment to ego identities: Who you believe you are and what defines you; your looks, your career, a title or a role such as mother, caretaker, your possessions and so on.
- Attachments to ideas: about God, society, life or yourself. Ideas such as believing that life is hard or that money doesn't grow on trees and so on.
- Convictions: In general, anything you believe to be an absolute truth tends to shatter is this process to allow for a more expansive definition of truth to take it's place.
Kundalini asks that you shed all the layers of who you think you are in order to become who you truly are. There is a tremendous amount of vulnerability involved in that process. Often fear of losing yourself arises. This can feel like a death, remember you can’t shed what is truly you, the very real pain you are feeling is derived from deep grief of having to let go of parts of yourself. Grief can be a constant in this process and is an appropriate response to what is being asked of you. Let yourself grieve as much as you need and be gentle with yourself. Remind yourself you are going to make it through this as many have before. Know that once you shed all layers of wounding and conditioning your existence is free and your “Self” is rock-solid. When nothing can define you, nothing can threaten to annihilate you. Living without armors can be an adjustment to say the least. You can feel naked and exposed. Yet with it comes the gift of learning that life doesn’t have to be driven by fear of survival once you know your eternal self. You can learn what true safety means.
Kundalini brings the 'shadow', the unconscious, to the surface of awareness piece by piece. Witnessing every single part of yourself, the conscious and unconscious exposed and vulnerable throughout this process - you get the unique opportunity to love all of who you are unconditionally. You are a spiritual being living as a physical expression and Kundalini will make sure you learn that and reconnect with your soul above all else. It is time to step up and evolve; the good news is that although you are not in the drivers’ sit at this time, the destination is already in the GPS and the course is set for home. You can never get this process wrong, as your being was born to heal, be whole and be the love that you hold within. This being said, along this sacred journey, you need all the help and support you can get. Just keep Asking for it, keep reaching out.